MARRIAGE

Marriage is the union of two souls for love & two bodies for procreation & legalising of children. Marriage contributes to many-sided progress of a man - physical, mental, social, moral & spiritual. Free love creates no responsibility, no ownership of property & no kith & kin. A Muslim marriage is a civil contract based on mutual consent of the bride & bridegroom, as distinguished from the sacramental form of marriage. A woman has got absolute right in her acquired properties before & after her marriage. In addition, she has a distinct lien upon her husband's property for her ante-nuptial settlements.

The Holy Quraan gives the order of marriage in the following verse: "& marry those among you who are single & those who are fit among your male slaves & your female slaves. If they are ready, Allah will save them from want out of His grace. & Allah is Ample-giving, Kind & tell those who do not find a match to keep chaste until Allah makes them free from want out of His grace". (24:30)

Sayyidah Ayesha (radi Allahu anha) was married to Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) in the month of Shawaal & she was taken to the Holy Prophet's (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) company some years after in the month of Shawaal. So some hold that celebration of marriage in this month is Mustahab or laudable.

Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: "No man shall seek in marriage upon the seeking of his brother until he marries or leaves." (Agreed) This means that none should seek the hand of one in marriage who has already been sought by another Muslim. He is, however, allowed if the former candidate finally leaves the negotiation.  

Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Mas'ood (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Prophet of Islam (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: "O Assembly of youths! Let him marry who amongst you is able to have sexual intercourse & verily greatly shuts up eyesight & protects private parts & whoso is not able, he should keep fast & verily it is (as it were) castration for him." (Agreed)

According to Imam-e-A'zam Abu Hanifa (alaihir rahmah), the age of strong sexual passion is up to 40 years & according to Imam Shafi'i (alaihir rahmah), it is up to 80 years. It seems no age can be fixed reasonably during which there remains the sexual urge.

Sayyiduna Anas (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: "When a man marries, he indeed makes his religion half-perfect. Then let him fear Allah for the remaining half." (Bay'haqi) 

The foremost qualification of a bride is as the Holy Quraan says: "Marry such woman as seem good to you." (4:3) It appears, therefore, that the bridegroom & the bride's mutual choice has got the greatest consideration.  

In traditions, we find that the following qualifications of a bride should be sought. The bride should be:

1. A Muslim,
2. Chaste,
3. Virgin,
4. Beautiful,
5. Accomplished,
6. Having sweet tongue & good manners,
7. Possessing property,
8. Having child-bearing capacity & affectionate nature
9. & Equal respectability.

According to Hanafi Law, equality is an important condition of marriage in points of family, religion, freedom, character, fortune & profession.

Females unlawful for marriage:

The females prohibited for marriage are the following. The Holy Quraan says: "Forbidden to you are your." (4:23)

1. Mothers,
2. & your daughters,
3. & your sisters,
4. & your paternal aunts,
5. & your maternal aunts,
6. & your brother's daughters,
7. & sister's daughters,
8. & your mothers that have suckled you,
9. & mothers of your wives,
10. & your step daughters who are in your guardianship born of your wives to whom you have gone in, but if you have not gone into them, there is no blame on you,
11. & the wives of your sons who are of your loins,
12. & that you shall not have two sisters together except what has already passed,
13. & all married woman except those whom your right hand possess.

Islam allowed a man or a girl to select his or her mate after sights, glances & not beyond that. This instruction is neglected in Muslim societies generally in India, following strict notion of Pardah. Guardians should arrange for a sight ceremony so that the bridal parties may not repent afterwards. 

According to Imam-e-A'zam Abu Hanifa (alaihir rahmah), it is lawful to have a sight of the bride & bridegroom before marriage.  

Sayyidah Ayesha (radi Allahu anha) reported that Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Whoso female gets herself married without permission of her guardian, her marriage is void, her marriage is void, her marriage is void. If he had intercourse with her, there is dowry for her on account of her private parts having been made lawful. If they dispute, then the King is the guardian for those who have got no guardian." (Abu Dawood)

In a contract of marriage, two witnesses at least are essential. Sayyiduna Ibn-e-Abbas (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Beloved Habib (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: "The fornicators are those who marry by themselves without witnesses." (Tirmizi)

Dower:

Dower is a consideration of the contract of marriage. It is essential to the validity of a marriage. The Holy Quraan says: "O Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)! Surely We have made lawful to you your wives whom you have given their dowries." (33:50) Another verse says: "& there is no blame on you to marry them whom you give them their dowries." (60:10)

Dower is an essential part of marriage but it is not invalid if it is not paid or contracted before marriage. The Holy Quraan says: "There is no blame on you if you divorce woman when you have not touched them, or appointed for them a dower." (2:23) The Holy Quraan also says: "& your woman - give their dowries as a gift, but they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, them eat it with enjoyment & pleasure." (4:4) Islam has prescribed dower as a great check for free use of husband's oppression.

Amount of Dower:

The Holy Quraan has laid down no hard & fast rule about the amount of dower. It is to be adjudged according to the social position of the parties, their wealth, their personal qualifications & conditions of the human society. The Holy Quraan says: "One wealthy according to his means & one straitened in circumstances according to his means." (2:236)

The dower of Sayyidah Umm-e-Habibah (radi Allahu anha) in marriage with the Glorious Prophet of Islam (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was fixed at 4000 Dirhams. Dowry of Holy Prophet's (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) daughters was nearly 500 Dirhams for each. Dowry may be increased or decreased after marriage by mutual agreement. (4:24) 

The Jurists divided dowry into two portions: one payable o demand called Mehr-e-Mu'ajjal & another payable at death or dissolution of marriage by divorce called Mehr-e-Mu'ajjal. Where no dower has been fixed, it is to be adjudged according to the amount settled in one's family & the condition of the husband. After consummation, the wife becomes entitled to full dower & before consummation only half, or a mere present in case of separation before consummation.

Marriage Feast:

Walima is a feast arranged on the occasion of marriage. The husband should invariably give the feast.

Sayyiduna Anas (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) noticed a sign of yellow colour on Abdur Rahman bin Auf (radi Allahu anhu). He asked: "What is this?" He replied: "I have married a woman for a measure of 5 Dirhams of gold." He said: "May Allah bless you. Give a feast even though with a goat." (Agreed) Same reported that Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) did never feed for any of his wives what he fed for Sayyidah Zainab (radi Allahu anha). He gave feast (for her marriage) with a goat. (Agreed)

Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Umar (radi Allahu anhuma) reported that the Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: "Whenever one of you is invited to a feast of marriage, attend it." (Agreed) 

Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (radi Allahu anhu) reported that the Glorious Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: "The worst of feasts is a feast of marriage where the rich are invited & the poor are left. Whoso does not attend the invitation, disobeys Allah & His Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)." (Agreed)

Sexual Intercourse:

The following rules of sexual intercourse should be observed:

1. Before actual coition, hold conversation of sexual love & give caresses & kisses. Play & toy in order to rouse sexual organs for easy cohabitation.
2. Before the act is begun, recite the following: "In the Name of Allah, the Almighty & the Great, Allah is Greatest. O Allah! Protect us from the devil & keep the devil aloof from what You have provided us."
3. Don't turn the face towards the West.
4. At the time when semen runs out, think of this verse: "All praise is for Allah Who created man from water. Then He made for him blood & marriage relationship." (25:54)
5. Don't let out your semen very soon at least before the ovary of your wife comes out. This is made much easier when kisses,caresses & other tactful ways rouse wife's passions.
6. Try to enter semen into uterus & don't throw it outside without any excuse.
7. Before your second coition, sexual organs must first be cleaned & washed.
8. Ablution should be made after coition.
9. Coition should be avoided as far as possible in the nights of the new moon, full moon & at the end of the lunar month.
10. Sexual intercourse is desirable when the husband & the wife both show inclination for it & no forcible coition should take place. When a man calls his wife to bed & she declines, Angels curse her & Almighty Allah remains displeased with her.
11. Coition must always be made with the male organ & the female vaginal canal & never through the rectum.

On the following occasions, sexual intercourse is unlawful:

1. Intercourse during continuance of the menses of the wife. The Holy Quraan says: "They ask you about menstruation. Say, it is a little harmful." Therefore, keep aloof from woman during their menstrual discharge & do not go near them until they are clean.
2. After childbirth till the stoppage of blood nearly up to the 40th day.
3. During the hours of fasting from the appearance of whiteness till the setting of the sun. Intercourse during night is not prohibited even during the fasting month.
4. Unnatural intercourse either with male or with an animal is unlawful.

If a man promises not to go unto his wife for four months & if in the meantime, he does not have sexual intercourse with her, the wife will be considered as divorced if not taken in the mean time.